it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize