she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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