i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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