I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
