these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
