The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize