sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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