I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
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