You smell like a Billy Joel song
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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