So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
