Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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