I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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