We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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