Will you blow on my dice?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
