GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The power of my boobs compel you
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
