ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i can't believe i had my finger in that
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize