Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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