You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
