i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
