I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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