my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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