They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
