All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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