I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
