how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Mom said you looked used
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
