so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
