Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
