he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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