my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
