I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize