Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
