i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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