I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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