even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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