I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
