I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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