I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize