Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
