Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
