I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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