Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
