Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
