she was so not down for the gang bang
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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