I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
