talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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