Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
