it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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