STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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