I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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