I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
