I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
