the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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