also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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