***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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