I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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