You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Pooping to opera.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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