we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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