i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize