why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
