I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
