there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
please come you make the beer taste better
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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