i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
