dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize