You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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