Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
