I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
